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I went out with a girlfriend in Montclair, NJ, to a fun place called Just Jakes. It was a little deceiving, sure, but I thought telling the guys I was a single mom would influence their answers—and I wanted raw thoughts.It was lovely being out sans Jack, having a cold beer at the bar, surrounded by other adults enjoying drinks, conversation, and music. I videotaped their answers, transcribed what they said, and here’s what I got: “It’s not the ideal situation for me.I don’t have kids, but I want kids, so if she already has one or two, it would be a bonus.I would just be really cautious about getting close to the kid, because if it didn’t work out, I’d feel bad if the kid got attached, then hurt.” “I think it would be a pain.

Dear Readers, Today’s question piggybacks on a previous question: Will guys date single moms?

Please read that post for more information about dating with kids. Also read a personal account, “Dating as a single mother in my 20s.” Please use the form on the “Ask the Guys” page to leave us a question.

Thanks, THE GUYS Dear Guys, I’m 20 and I have a little girl on the way—my first child.

Hidden under the layers of responsibility lie our own needs, which resurface as we disengage from our identity as a married woman.

Since my separation three and half years ago, I've noticed a growing number of my contemporaries (in their early to mid-30s) join the force of divorcees.