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Anxious attachment style dating

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For example, if we have a working model of anxious/preoccupied attachment, we will feel that in order to get close to someone and have our needs met, we need to be with our partner all the time and get reassurance.

To support this perception of reality, we may choose someone who is isolated and hard to connect with.

Even a slight hint that something is wrong will activate their attachment system, and once activated they are unable to calm down until they get a clear indication from their partner that the relationship is safe.

We develop an attachment style as a child based on interactions with our parents.

These styles live on in our adult lives in our interactions with our spouses, friends, and even coworkers.

If you are dating someone with an anxious attachment style, relationship bliss isn’t necessarily doomed.

You just have to understand that their wiring is different from yours, and that they require higher levels of intimacy and closeness than people with secure attachment styles.